We Feel and Then We Do

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We’ve all seen it…the movie or tv show where the main characters are hanging out together and 2 seconds later they’re having passionate sex…10 hours later they wake up in bed together, stare at the ceiling and freak out because one or both of them is married.

If this is happening to you in real life, you need to get some self-control and fast…or counseling. It is not that hard to refuse sex.

In ancient Israel, they had high priests who were essentially the conscience of the nation. They were the most influential members of society and what some might call the moral compass of the culture. If the high priests fell into sin, they would take the people with them. If they were godly, the people would usually follow them in that as well.

It has been said that artists are the high priests of our society and more specifically, filmmakers. Hollywood both manifests and influences our society. They decide what people believe is normal and right without the people even realizing that their worldview is being subtly affected.

The high priests of our society think that sex is something that controls us rather than something that we control and use….and our society is rampant with adultery and rape. We don’t control ourselves, we just feel and then we do. Brock Turner felt and then he did and the media crucified him for that…rightfully so. But I think we need to realize that he is only a product of the culture that we have created and we need to change that culture. We need to teach our children that what they see on TV is not the way life actually works or should work. That it is not ok to allow ourselves to be controlled by our lusts and impulses. Perhaps, we will keep our sons and daughters from becoming the next main character in a Nicholas Sparks novel…minus the happy ending.

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Taking Back Your Life

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Hey girls, this is a post just for you from someone who has been there before.

It’s time to take back your life. It is time to kick yourself into gear and say enough is enough.

Maybe you were raised like I was. When I was young, my parents taught me to think for myself, always put God first even if meant disagreeing with them. They weren’t perfect, but they tried and in the end they succeeded at producing a woman who can stand on her own two feet. (Well…or crawl at least.)

Maybe you were raised from the beginning with the kind of thinking that I picked up in my teen years. The thinking that had me convinced that my purpose in life was to get married, make babies and promote my husband’s vision with unquestioning loyalty. The thinking that made me honestly think that it was ok to only have the basics down like the death, burial and resurrection but leave any belief that I was unsure on until later when I found out what my husband thought.

I know a lot of young women in Patriocentric families were taught to follow first their father and later their husband. To let him do most of the thinking and defer to him when in doubt. Their parents didn’t mean to raise a girl who can only pretend to think for herself, but that is what so many have done without realizing it.

But ladies, it’s time to stand up. It is time to grow up and grow past all of that.

You are a powerful individual. You belong to Yahweh and He has made you His masterpiece. You are no less intelligent, no less important that any man on this earth and it has nothing to do with your anatomy. You are uniquely gifted in many different ways and using those gifts does not necessarily revolve around raising children and making a home. It might have nothing to do with those things and it is every bit as right and good as holding a child in your arms.

God told the man to protect the woman as the weaker vessel and a righteous man will do just that whether the woman is his wife, his sister or a stranger on the street. You’ve probably been taught that there are also predators out there who want to rape you, use you and cast you aside and that is very true. But what is harder to teach and harder to spot is the men in the middle.

They don’t know that they are predators. They may open doors for you, they may be perfect and smart and funny and make you feel safe and they are completely sincere in all of it. But you must walk carefully. If a man routinely makes decisions about his life based on how he feels, what his flesh wants, turn around and run.

I don’t mean that he has to be perfect, but if you are not equipped to disagree with him, if you find yourself being easily convinced when he tells you what he believes, you…get…out.

It will hurt far less a few months into a relationship than it will a few years into a marriage. You are strong enough and even if it looks hopeless and feels like you’re ripping your heart out of your chest, you must not allow yourself to be lead down that path.

Become a woman, know that you can stand on your own two feet, alone with only your God to guide you and then see where you are and where you want to go.

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P.S. I cannot recommend this book enough. Buy a copy. Read it. It will change your life.